In my self-discovery, I have been trying to fulfill my goal of 50 new things in my 50’s. Like I mentioned in previous blogs, some of these events are ones I have planned, but others are spontaneous and out of the box for me.

This is one such event…

If you are a friend or a family member, you know that twice a month I travel to see family about 2.5 hours away. I leave right after work on Fridays and head north trying to avoid or stay ahead of all traffic jams a Friday afternoon brings.

On my drive, I have a routine, I am convinced if I fell asleep at the wheel my car would know what to do- and NO I do not own a Tesla. On my drive, north, half way to my destination, I make a stop. I have stopped at the same place for the last 5 or 6 years. You know nature calls, and my coffee habit needs a fix.

I stop at Starbucks.

On a Fall afternoon about 2 years ago, I made my routine stop, parked the car, and walked into my rest stop. Starbucks was bursting at the seam this particular Friday. The local high school down the street had just let out, and it was a home football game that afternoon. Therefore, my stopped was swarmed with students, coaches, and parents.

I ordered my usual Venti Coffee Light Frappuccino with an add shot of espresso blended in, used the ladies room, and then waited for my drink to be ready.

As I stood near the pickup counter out of the corner of my eye, I saw flashing. I turned slightly to see 3 young high school girls about 6 feet away sitting at a table snapping pictures of me and laughy hysterically.

I quickly scanned myself, had I forgotten to zip my pants?, was TP stuck to my shoes?  After a quick look, I realized I was good. But the girls continued on and then began to speak louder…about me!

I was immediately embarrassed and felt like the whole place was staring at me- they were loud, and tables around them obviously knew what was occurring.

See 2 years ago, I was much heavier than I am now;  I was obese, and no matter what I wore, or what I did it, could not be hidden.

I stood there which seemed like forever as the girls laughed at my size and made fun of me being “as large as an elephant.”

But what really got me was that they were taking photos and texting them out to friends. One girl said, referring to the picture they had just taken “call that one Circus Fat Lady.”

My coffee was still not done, I was tempted to leave without it, but something from within stirred to speak.

I turned to the young ladies and in a loud enough voice for all around to hear and said to them,

“Would you like me to smile or pose for the next picture?”

The girls were taken back, they quickly put the phone down and stuttered.

“We are not taking pictures of you.”

I quickly responded to them,

“Really, I know you have been taking photos of me, and so does everyone sitting around you because of your loud, disrespectful mouths!”

Starbucks went silent, the only sound I heard was the espresso machine steaming milk, along with the sound of my own voice.

Customers around looked down making no eye contact and not moving. Maybe they expected a fight? Uh, hmmm…I did not consider that when I opened my mouth.

I told the young ladies that if they are going to talk about someone,

“They should probably lower their voice or wait until that person leaves.”

They spouted off some colorful words at me, basically telling me off. I responded to them saying that,

“It is a shame that a person cannot come into a public place without fear of ridicule and that if I were the manager of this Starbucks, I would ask them to leave.”

I finished my lecture to them by saying,

“I hope they never are bullied or made fun of especially in a public place.” “And that how I look is my business.  Just as the way they look is none of my business or my place to comment.”

The girls went silent for the first times in minutes.

My coffee was finally done, and I quickly grabbed it, and as I turned to leave the manager apologized to me for the girl’s behavior.  I told the manager she should not be apologizing they should be.

I headed out of Starbucks quickly, believing the girls would follow me outside to the parking lot. I got in my car, locked the doors, and sat in the parking lot. I was in shock of what I had just done.

OMG!!! What had I just done?

I stood up for myself. Not something I do much, maybe never up to then, literally! It is a fact that I am non-confrontational, evident by me staying in a bad marriage for years. I had low self -esteem, I was a “doormat,” and went by the motto I learned, “to suck it up.”

See that is how I lived my first 50 years, and now in the second 50 years God- willing.  I have chosen to believe in myself and know that I am valuable and that “sucking it up” does not refer to a way of life, well at least not for me!

I stood up to those young girls in public, I was not disrespectful or rude. I did not curse, though tempted. I was calm, confident, and poignant for the first time ever.  I made progress towards being the person I want to be, and have been hiding for years.

Now for the record, do I stand up for myself all the time now you wonder?

No- I am still a work in progress, but I know I can do it if I ever feel it is needed.